can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
