The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
