My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
