so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
