I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
