i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
