She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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