first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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