thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
