We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
