So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
either way he was missing a nipple.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
