Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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