let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I party with great urgency now.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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