I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
