I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
