How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
