we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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