then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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