They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
