my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Dignity is for republicans.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
