Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
is that a dick in a sweater?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
