Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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