Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
