I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So vagazzling was a success
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
