i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
