A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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