new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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