Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
