The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
