I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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