you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
