i just had sex bonerless
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
