he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
