There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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