she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
