We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
