Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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