Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
