Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
