Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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