No awkward lesbian experiences without me
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
