I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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