I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
