i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
