I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize