I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
