You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
my sisters under your porch take her home
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
