I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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