we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
