If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Bring me that man meat
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
