That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
