he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize