tell your sister to shave her snatch
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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