drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
