How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
