Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Randomize
