Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
