so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I could fuck to npr.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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