I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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