It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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