he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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